My Words. Our Journey.
Pets like me who don’t have a home are often considered “strays” or “wild“. A home for me is a place of belonging. Where I was once calling “home” is more of a place to sleep and eat and where my animals and I lived. Where my clothes were kept. Where my things were placed but it was not what I considered a real “home” for me. I never felt at place there, I never felt like it was where I needed to be. When Master would visit for however amount of time that seemed to be the only time I felt I could be comfortable there. When I would travel to different places for work I often felt myself searching for that home-ly feeling in hopes to find perhaps where I needed to be. Much like a stray moving from place to place… I could never seem find it.
……Until now. The changes in recent days, weeks and months have led me to here. Here I am now with my Master and I cannot believe it. For the first time in my life I feel where I need to be, I didn’t even feel this when I was married to the supposed “love of my life” *pffttt*. I am sleeping peacefully. I am eating happily without remorse or concern. I am able to stretch my body and feel everything slowly release that was once tight with stress and agony. When the nightmares of the past creep back into my mind I awake and feel the comfort feeling wrap me up in the warmth of protection and I can so easily sleep again. My animals must sure feel this peace as they seem to roam with ease. Master is doing his best to silence a lot of the concerns I have – since stress is something I’ve never ever gone a single day without. He wants to take care of me and I am fighting every fiber of my being to allow him to do so, after all isn’t that what every woman wants? I fear being a lush or lard like someone has been with him in his past. He says I am not and I do my best to do my part here until the career picks up again.
Kitten’s Manuscript
I am not his house slave- let’s not get those things confused. While I am a horrid suzy homemaker I feel, I know our home is slowly but surely coming together furniture piece by furniture piece. I do however know for certain want to take care of him as he has never had that before, which for me is so incredibly hard to fathom let alone believe. I sometimes wonder if he tells me little lies like that not to intend to hurt me but to make me feel better? I know it’ll take time as we continue to learn things about each other from habits to quirks. I am so excited to expand our D/s dynamic to a 24/7. To know that I can kneel beside him, curl up in his lap, feel his grip around my throat as my collar snugs and the bell charms. To play and scene as often as he wishes. To continue to try new things, and experiment with new ideas. The toy box growing with goodies. I am just so excited in that area for a subbie like me it’s a dream come true! It’s still in the early stages so protocols and tasks will be put into place soon i’m certain. I know he misses it I think. I often wonder what crosses his domly mind. What dominant aspects he thinks of, dreams of, daydreams and creates in his mind. I crave that in him. I don’t know why.